Hi! I’m fat and IDGAF

I was at a bridal shower recently with a group of gals that I work with. They are all amazing women and plenty good looking too. As we were doing the requisite drinks and snacks before prezzies and activities, I listened to the conversations going on around me. I’m a classic introvert and i’m not that great at general small talk. (In larger groups i’m already out of my comfort zone, so I tend to mostly listen to what is going on around me.)

Well over half the gals were talking about what diets they were on. BeachBody, some homeopathic thing, some other exercise program and all this stuff. It legit made me uncomfortable in many ways. As I have posted before, I have had a rather traumatic history with my fat body and self-image, and it has taken me a hell of a long time to get comfortable in my skin. Listening to this sort of talk just makes me think about how maybe I should be dieting like everyone else, and re-starting the cycle of hating my body and pushing my happiness off until some later date when I am thin, and society says that I am allowed to be happy.

I know that people diet for lots of reasons, and I support people making healthier choices and feeling good in their bodies. I know that some of this discomfort is my own problem. But honestly? Diets don’t work. Study after study confirms this. I wanted to yell at these women- this isn’t going to work! And could we ease up on the self-loathing?

And is it so bad to be fat? Why? Who decided this? Seems suspect to me.

I’m fat. Fatty fat. Fatty McFatpants the third. I do not have high blood pressure. My eating habits could use some work, true, but I am not pre-diabetic or any sort of thing. I’m just fat. I think all this shit is just yet another societal construct that comes from the post-WW2 era that is intended to distract women from using their energy and power on more important things, so as to keep women in their place. However, it’s become so pervasive that some men also deal with this kind of societal hatred.

Fat people are beautiful. Kind. Creative. Strong. Active. Athletic. Funny. Smart. We are all the desirable qualities that a person desires in a mate/friend/partner/fuck buddy…. wait, what?

Credit: HULU
In Hulu’s series “Shrill,” Annie (played by Aidy Bryant)
straddles her boyfriend during a hawt make-out scene.

FAT PEOPLE HAVE SEX Y’ALL. A LOT OF IT. Ima give you a minute to digest that. We can do most of the freaky-deaky shit you skinny folks do. And we don’t have to accept what dregs of humanity that will deign to fuck us. We can be choosy AF like the rest of y’all.

I’ve seen all of the current episodes of Shrill (IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT GO WATCH. I’LL WAIT.) out to date, and I have to say that a good chunk of the series as it deals with fat shame and choices and sexuality and all of that would damn near be my biography. I’ve made a lot of similar choices that Annie makes in the series before she realizes that she has her own worth and deserves a fulfilling sex life and a loving partner. I’ve also experienced a similar redemption story (but not with so hot of a dude. DAMN on the brother she sleeps with!) I cried a lot not only from the similar backstory to my own, but also because of the representation this story provides. Its so powerful to see a fat woman be portrayed as a human being rather than just the fucking punchline or the subject of revulsion.

I’m not even sure where to end this post other than to say that this fatty is going to focus on self-love and general health and not some “thinspiration” bullshit put forth by some Don Draper asshole to get me to buy another case of slim fast. Godspeed, y’all.

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